By Lauren Evans
Alamo Drafthouse, a chain of movie theaters that allows you to order booze and a plate of hot wings to your seat no matter how tense or emotional the film, decided to celebrate the June 2 release of Wonder Woman with an all-female screening at their Austin location. That means that not just the audience, but the projectionists, chefs and theater staff, will all be female or those who identify as such. It sold out immediately, and with good reason—what better way to spend an evening than with Gal Gadot, a vat of rosé and a blissfully bro-free environment?
Men, with their preternatural ability to sense that something might not revolve around them, immediately freaked out. Mind you, the screening was initially intended as a one-off affair, with men having the option to attend literally any other screening at either the Drafthouse or infinite multiplexes around the world. Men make 20 percent more money than women; they perform fewer child care duties and household chores (even when their wives are the family breadwinners). They pay less for pants and haircuts, and they are responsible for dictating our abortion laws. But GOD DAMN IT if they’re going to let a few dozen women celebrate the rare arrival of female superhero protagonist!
No sooner had the theater announced the women-only screening than its Facebook page filled with the lachrymose keens of offended men, screeching wetly about the wretched unfairness of it all. I could quote them here, but reading them raises my blood pressure and I don’t have time for a heart attack today, I have a barbecue to get to later and I’m bringing the portobello caps. You can use your imagination, anyway.